Forgive But Don't Forget

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and

forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”- Thomas S. Szasz

I feel kind of bad that I haven't been paying due diligence to my little blog for a while. It's certainly not because I haven't wanted to, heaven knows there's been plenty to write about , just very little time to write.

I know sometimes I hate it when life demands that I live it instead of doing things I love to do.

While I still have a mountain of things to do, something happened this morning that I have to get out of my system so I can focus on other things.

Early this morning, I drove up north to pick up a friend who has severe dementia to take her to the doctor for a minor but necessary medical procedure that will improve her quality of life even if she does not recognize it.

I knew that I would have a little time to kill while she was getting her surgery so I planned on heading to the gym for an hour's workout and dressed accordingly in a tee shirt and gym pants.

(I suppose at this point I should mention that the tee shirt I was wearing was an Obama tee shirt from early in the 2008 election season.)

Now I'm not politically naive and I follow the news but I admit, it never occurred to me to think politically when I was getting dressed this morning. What I was thinking was since it's a little humid out, what shirt do I have that will wick away sweat the fastest so I wouldn't be dripping all over the doctor's office when i returned to pick up my friend.

When I arrived at the doctor's office, I guess I should have had a clue when the receptionist with a broad smile on her face asked "how's all that hopey- changey was working out for me?" I smiled back at her and told her that frankly as far as I was concerned the change I've been seeing so far wasn't even close to the change I had been hoping for but that's what the next round of elections were for.

No harm- no foul. To my mind it was mediocre political bantering at best or very lame small talk at worst. My focus was on getting my friend comfortable and going to work out and that's what I did.

When I got to the gym and walked in, I got several strange looks. I attributed it to the fact that this was not my regular work out spot and I was a complete stranger to these people.

Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm not going to go into detail but I was bombarded with insults, personal comments and political attacks. Why? Because of the shirt I had chosen to work out in. There was absolutely no consideration for what my actual political ideology might be, these folks saw the shirt and to their minds that was that.

I held firm and did my workout, probably a better and harder workout than usual as I channelled my irritation with the whole situation.

As I left a man in I'd guess his mid 30's followed me out and loudly suggested (to my back) that if I "wasn't open to discussing things with them I don't come back".

I stopped in my tracks and turned around and stared at him. He stared back, For the record, I swear I could have held his gaze all day long but he was the one who looked away first.

When he glanced back at me he again told me not to come back but some of his steam had worn away in our little public stare-down.

You might be wondering if I had anything to say to him... I did and here it is:

I feel sorry for you that you felt you had to harass a middle aged woman (old enough to be your mother BTW) who only wanted to work out to make your political point because of the shirt she was wearing.

I feel sorry for you because by attacking without knowing exactly what who your attacking actually thinks, you really aren't influencing people or winning friends, both of which you need if you truly believe your cause is just.

I feel sorry for you because you haven't figured out that by attacking, without knowing exactly what the person you're attacking thinks, you have become exactly the person you're afraid of.

I forgive you but will never forget you.

With that I hopped into my little carbon footprint and drove away. I looked in the rearview mirror (seriously because I thought he was going to follow me and I was trying to remember where I had passed the fire station because I had no clue where the police department was and it was the only place I could think of to go for help) and this man was just standing there staring at me with his mouth hanging open.

After I dropped my friend back at the nursing home as I was driving back down to the city I found myself wondering what kind of country we have become when ideologies and even clothes have become more important than the people who are wearing them and saying a little prayer that things settle down quickly, that people who are being attacked don't let fear drive there willingness to stand up to this nonsense and that the people who are doing the attacking find a better way to make their point then using violence real or implied.

Footnote: When I got home, and saw the news, I noticed that our incredibly right leaning Governor received a letter from an even more right leaning group (Guardians of a Free Republic) threatening to remove him from office in 3 days if he didn't step down. Sheesh, these folks are now attacking their own....